What do you enjoy most in life and who do you love most? Where do you spend your money? Do you spend money in a way that is aligned with your values?
Now I know, Money can be a HUGE stress during those initial months & years after your family becomes a family with two homes -- or at any time frankly! But this is also an opportunity to give yourself a reality check.
I’m pretty good at math, so when my marriage ended, I knew the basic logic sucked – me and my ex made the same amount of money we did before we separated, except now we had to run two separate households – YIKES! And most people aren’t rich enough to have had two homes beforehand, unless you’re a celebrity!
Having money fears is totally normal BUT that doesn’t mean you need to ignore the whole topic and not deal with your budget and current financial situation.
I did this for a long while and my money fears didn’t subside – funny enough.. ;) I just dug myself a deeper hole and piled on more anxiety to boot!
OK, take a few deep breaths – and then keep reading.
Nothing ever goes away until it’s pulled out from under the rug and dealt with….no matter how scary and how much it’ll suck.…the time is now.
I also know that you can do hard things.
You can face your money reality. Just take a few more deep breaths first.
Take control of your money today. It’ll feel so much better. The fear will actually subside because you'll just be dealing with what's right in front of you - not your imagination's worst case scenarios!
You’ll feel in charge again – even if you don’t have any more money than you did the day before – you’ll feel more empowered.
Know how much you have. Know how much you spend. And ensure you're spending is in align with your values and your priorities. The truth will set you free, as they say!
Then begin to make responsible choices to live within your means. I know you want to model good money habits for your kids. Now your kids may be crabby, if they can't do everything they wanted before, however in the long run, living within your means is where you need to be. It feels terrible to live outside your means.
This more honest and up front approach to money will help immensely with your money mindset as well, it will be so refreshing. No more scary money talk in your head, just a practical and realistic idea of what you can do with your income. It takes a lot of work but you can get there!
Click here to watch a video that I just love about this topic of money and your relationship with money.
I’ve been working a lot on my own money mindset lately. I realized that when it comes to money, I don’t always believe I can make more than my current amount. Like at some income threshold, I can’t even imagine it to be true! So, I’ve been working on my assumptions about money, so that I can feel open to making more money and also feeling really grateful for the money I do make. Couple that with a lot of hard work and it should pay off -- Haha!
Money doesn’t control us. We can make it work for us in a lot of ways. How empowering!
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Together we can positively change the way families are affected by Separation & Divorce! :)