I had the opportunity to visit Halifax a few weekends ago - it’s a city I love and I have great history there! I also have a 98 year old step-Nana who lives there and so I made sure to take the time to pop in and visit her.
And am I ever glad I did.
It had been two years since we last connected, and she continues to be so positive and upbeat about life – it’s amazing! Obviously, at 98 years of age, one can’t help but have a unique perspective on life. And by now, she’s clearly learnt how to roll with the ebb and flow of life, complete with all it’s struggles and all it’s miracles. And she’s chosen to walk through it, with her head up and with a deep knowing that the tough times will pass and she’ll get through it all. And she truly has! It’s so inspiring to me!
So, I’ve taken up the habit of asking myself, when any problem or irritation arises – ‘what would by 98 year old self say about this?’ And nearly every time, the voice in my head comes back with – be patient and it’ll pass, or just keep doing good work and it’ll blow over, or who cares, not big deal: something to that effect.
And I remember very well, how easy it is to lose perspective when going through a huge and life changing event like separating from your spouse. It so hard to wade through all the emotions and uncertainty of a new way of living your day to day life, and not feel like an undertow is dragging you down. But it’s those times precisely, where perspective is like a lifeline!
It’s vital to reach out to friends/family who knew you before you were separated and to reach out to people who have been through it already and who now have a thriving family after separation/divorce - and even to 98 year old Nanas who have been through cycles and cycles of ups and downs and are still as upbeat as ever before :)
They will keep you tethered. While you figure out what the heck to do with your life now.
And it will get better. It certainly will.
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Together we can positively change the way families are affected by Separation & Divorce! :)