How to Improve your Resilience

Last week my twin girls had their 13th birthday - time flies doesn't it?   And I couldn't help but remember how I felt when I found out I was expecting them.

When we were told we were expecting twins, my world massively and suddenly flipped completely upside down - very, very similar to the way life feels right now. 

I was so concerned about the health of my babies - could I carry two healthy babies??  I mean, I had never even had one baby yet.

How would I continue to work while pregnant with twins, cause I'd probably have to take an early leave because of either my health of the twins' health. 

Two kids at once??  What??  Seriously.  What a feeling of overwhelm and fear and more scary thoughts. 

So, what's a girl to do? 

How'd I go from despair to laughter?  Click on this video to watch the rest the rest on video - f you prefer that to reading :)  

So, what's a girl to do? 

Dig Deep.  I was going to carry...

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Confidence: how to boost it when things aren't going your way

We all have times in our life when things aren't going our way, especially in those early days of our marriage ending.  

It sucks.  And this is usually when our negative self-talk turns up the volume  in our head big time!   Which leads to confidence at an all time low, 

So, what can we do?  How do we climb back out of the rabbit hole? 

Good news is - we are in control of our thoughts - we can let them run rampant or talk back to them :)  

Check out this latest video for the simple process that will get you moving out of the rabbit hole of shitty thoughts, and sorry in advance for all the crunching in the background!! 

Always remember: 

You are stronger than you think. 

You have gotten through everything you've ever faced. 

I have no doubt, you'll get through this too!

Wishing you all the best, 

Lisa xo

 

 

 

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5 ways to boost your spirits for Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be so depressing, if you're marriage has recently ended or you're still moving through all the complicated feelings a year or more out, this post is for you! 

Instead of dwelling in what you don't have on Valentine's Day, let's focus on what you do have this Feb. 14th.  

I'd like to re-frame Valentine's Day as an occasion to celebrate the people you love (not just romantically love)  as well as loving on yourself!  Who knows, you might even find it more enjoyable than any past Valentine's festivities to date! :)  

No more snacking on piles of chocolates while watching a rom-com movie and crying the whole way through!  You deserve better, and besides, your single status wont last forever, there is someone out there looking for you right now - you just haven't crossed paths yet.  You know it. 

Here's 5 simple ways to focus on the love you do have in your life: 

  • celebrate with your kids, write...
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Dating: Are you ready?

How do you know when you're ready to cross that bridge? 

Getting Divorced has been compared to a death of a loved one, so it's a hugely traumatic time in your life. 

So, how do you know when you're truly ready for a serious relationship?  

In this week's video I've got three questions you can ask yourself to determine if you're open for a new relationship.  And if you aren't then please save yourself the trouble and just keep healing and sorting yourself out for a while longer :)

Remember: there's no rush!  An amazing relationship takes time to lay the groundwork.

Check out the video below for more: 

As always - wishing you all the best, 

Lisa xo

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Co-Parenting: as smooth as butter?

co-parenting Oct 30, 2019

Is your co-parenting relationship as smooth as butter?  Or more like chunky peanut butter?  

If you wish it could be smoother and hate the texture of chunky peanut butter as it is, read on :)

Last week, my ex had an idea for changing the kids’ after school routine.  Instead of mentioning it to me, the kids told me about it.  

I was suddenly so angry and so surprised. 

Normally we have a very smooth co-parenting relationship - so this caught me by surprise. 

It wasn’t that the idea was a bad one at all.  In fact, it made good sense. It was just that he hadn’t told me before the kids had.  

Which left me thinking - holy smokes, I would have continued thinking the kids would be doing one thing after school and they’d actually be doing something completely different.  My mama bear instincts immediately didn’t like that.

I sent him an email and as ‘just the facts’ like as I could, I told...

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Is Happiness after Divorce possible?

Was your response a resounding: YEEEESSSS!!  

If not, read on :)

What does that voice in your head tell you day in and day out? 

If you're wondering if you'll ever feel happy or fulfilled in your life after Divorce, I'm here to tell you -  it's completely possible!  

You can be happier than you've ever been in your life after Divorce :)

You don't have to tuck a piece of your heart away and be bitter for the rest of your life.  You aren't 'less than' now that you're marriage has ended.  

This is the perfect time to rebuild your life in the way YOU want.  

And the thoughts you tell yourself in your head have a HUGE impact on what you think is possible for yourself.  

So, here are some simple phrases to tell yourself when you catch your mind running through the mud too often:

I Deserve to be Happy

I fully and completely love and accept myself - I felt like a total fraud saying this to myself for months!  So keep...

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A new step mom? Watch out for the potential landmine of triggers!

If you've been following me on instagram (@lisa_m_nicol) you already know that I met my ex's girlfriend a few weeks ago - they are moving in together in a few weeks, and it was definitely time to meet her in person!

She reached out to me, which I really appreciated.  So, we met at a pub and sat down to chat for a few hours - and I was nervous!!

I mean, she will be the third most frequent person in my kids lives.  (My boyfriend and I haven't moved in together yet, so he's got a less critical status in my kids' lives, to my mind).  

And like my daughter said: hopefully she doesn't turn into an evil step mom when they start living together :I 

Over the course of our meet up, I realized if I had met her several years back, when my ex and I had just split, this meeting would have gone much differently! 

Having my kids influenced by someone I hardly know at all is a tough prospect and I would have been MUCH more inclined to want to control the whole situation...

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How do you build a life you love?

This is so important because a lot of times parents know what they value and who they value BUT when they look at their current life and what they spend a lot of their time doing, their activities don't reflect their values as much as they thought they would!    

If this is you - how do you get your values and your daily life to jive a little better?  

Check out my latest YouTube video on this topic! 

And keep in mind - I go back to reflect on this values and weekly activities, atleast once a year!  It's a constant work in progress :)  

Cause it's really easy to let time wasters or 'shoulds' sneak into your life!    

 

At the end of the day, I wish you a life you are satisfied with :)

You can choose to lay on your back and float through life or walk through your life a little more consciously as far as what gets your time and what doesn't!  

Wishing you all the best, 

Lisa xo

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Improve your Confidence Today!

Let's face it - having your marriage end is pretty friggin' hard on your confidence!! 

Feeling like a failure and ashamed that your marriage has ended, is the complete opposite of feeling Confident.

So, how do you rebuild your confidence when you're at an all time low?   

I'm literally bursting to help! :)  Click on the video below, for three ways you can rebuild your confidence, and get back on track as quickly as possible!

You might not believe it now but your confidence will improve after your divorce!  You are tougher and more resilient than you think - same goes for your kids! :)

 

 Wishing you all the best!

Lisa xo

 

 

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Getting Through Grief

There is a definite grieving process to having your marriage end.  Whether you were the one who finally ended it or not. 

The hopes you had for a family unit that was more traditional and less complicated. 

The hopes you had for your marriage and the vows you made.  

Needless to say, this can be a looong process. 

So be easy with yourself.  Be patient with yourself. 

With time and healing, your life will turn around. 

You will smile again and enjoy life again.

It is going to take some time though. 

So, be patient with yourself.  

And always remember - it is just a season.  So, keep the hope and faith, in knowing you aren't in a permanent slump.

My latest video is up, and in it I talk about ways to manage your grief, so you don't get overwhelmed or frustrated through the process of grieving..there's no too slow or deadline to be 'over grieving' by!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdr6I_7hMqM

 

You will find a new...

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