What a circus parenting is sometimes – except none of the adults are laughing, when they are all at an event for their child/step child and just trying to make sure it's all cordial.
It can literally feel like a circus I’m sure. When you’re all together, it can feel like you are competing to get (and keep) your kids’ attention. Cause somehow, your worth as a parent is gauged by whether or not your child wants to hang out with you more, when they have the option of hanging out with any parent they want! You know you’ve thought it and felt the pang of hurt when they choose your ex! :)
Now I’m not there yet, I’m dating a great man but haven’t introduced the kids. My ex is keeping a low dating profile, so I’m not sure where he’s at exactly, but certainly no one new has been introduced to the kids on his side either.
However, last week, I did find myself at my girls’ gymnastics finale – it’s where all the classes put on a gymnastics routine to music and the parents sit around and watch.
Now, one of the usual mom’s, had another couple with her that she was making awkward small talk with, and it only took me a few seconds to realize that this couple was her ex and his new partner.
She has a new partner as well (who showed up later), however (before he arrived) with just the three of them together, there was definitely awkwardness or an unease in the chatter. And the two women never addressed each other directly. They talked through the child or through the ex.
I have to give them full credit though.
They were doing the best they knew how to.
And their daughter was having a great time going between parents and just being silly. And loving every minute of all their eyes on her! :)
However, this whole situation really struck me. Because even though it wasn’t the most seamless interaction, they were all trying to do the best they could for the child. They were being supportive in their words, if not actions ;)
And isn’t that all we are ever trying to do for our children? The best we can?
We are all parents with good intentions, feeling our way through some of the more awkward moments of co-parenting!
And back at gymnastics, their daughter felt loved by even more adults than just her two parents.
I am in awe, with the way parenting continually asks us to be the biggest hearted adults we can be. And it’s a major stretch at times. But in the end, it’s always such a good influence on us as humans.
You can do this. I believe in you.
With Love Lisa
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